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How to Make Love to a. Woman by Mary Szmagaj. I cut myself shaving and suddenly see the solution to her complaints that my stubble chafes when I kiss her. How to Make Love to a Woman [Michael Morgenstern] on bestthing.info *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Michael Morgenstern asked women all over the. fact, most married men believe that women do not want to have sex as much as we Wife — He keeps saying he wants to make love, but it doesn't feel like love.
Imagine that your emotions are like a car with a standard transmission. To shift from one emotion to another, you shift through neutral. In neutral, you quiet one emotion before shifting to another emotion. When you quiet your own emotions, you can feel your partner's emotions. Buddhists call this state egoless. Christians say selfless. When you feel your partner's emotions, you can select the best emotion for the situation. Your cerebral cortex imagines your friends' envy if she goes out with you.
Your limbic brain fears that she'll reject you. Your reptilian brain wants to have sex with her.
Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love
In a conflicted brain, the older brain area wins. You're capable of having sex with her. Your reptilian brain is perfectly functional. Your limbic brain is warning, "Don't emotionally connect with her!
You'll get hurt! She seems like a beautiful statue in a museum. You've locked out your cerebral cortex. Language is a cerebral cortex activity, so you can only stare at her breasts and mumble incoherently. When integrated, [the triune brain] offers us an open-ended potential; an ability to rise and go beyond all constraint or limitation.
Instead, connect to your limbic brain. Feel your emotional state. Slow down. When you react quickly, your brain selects myelinated or habitual responses. Instead of going with your first reaction, pause and breathe. Imagine your choices. Imagine alternative responses. No one needs to be completely hemmed in by circumstances; no one needs to be the victim of his biography.
Imagine different responses you could make to that rejection: When Hugh Hefner first asked Barbi Benton out, she said, "Well, I've, uh, never dated anyone over 23 before. Neither have I. What seemed like an insurmountable problem now looks like a variety of choices, each leading to a positive conclusion. Imagining different possible futures is a cerebral cortex activity. Feeling emotions is a limbic brain activity. Imagining your emotions in various scenarios connects your cerebral cortex and limbic brain.
You unblock your internal conflicts. Play a Game[ edit ] When an unexpected event upsets you, the problem isn't the event. The problem is that you don't know how to respond. When you're upset you fail to see positive opportunities. You see only that your plans are blocked. Instead, stay flexible and look for opportunities in unexpected events. He walks over, bends down to talk to her, and bonks his head on a lampshade hanging over the table.
Momentarily stunned, he stands there while the lampshade swings back and bonks his head a second time. He says, "Excuse me. Let me do this again. He comes back to the woman, puts his hand calmly on the lampshade, bends down, and introduces himself. This happened to one of my friends. He and the woman dated for several months. He managed his fear by playing a game. Play boosts emotional experience, and develops relationships with other individuals.
Children play obvious games. Adults play subtle games. Let's make my friend's game more obvious: Shift to a pretend world. He said, in effect, "I'm going to pretend to meet you. Focus on a bipolar construct. Psychologists call a pair of opposite ideas a bipolar construct.
A literature major would say irony. Whatever you call it, when an individual does two, opposite things at the same time, we laugh. In this game, the bipolar construct was being cool vs.
Exaggerate emotions. If my friend had played the game to entertain a child, he would've amplified his emotions.
Then he pretends to see the woman for the first time. His eyes pop open and his jaw drops. His hand shakes and he nearly spills his beer in his lap. He exaggerates preening in the bar mirror, then swaggers over.
Then he'd repeat the skit. He could repeat it thirty times and the child would laugh every time. Exchange roles. If he were entertaining a child, he'd trade places with the child. The child would pretend to be clumsy Joe Cool. Make your game physical and unstructured. Children play physical, unstructured, non-competitive games. Adults play abstract, non-physical, structured, competitive games, e.
My friend's game was physical bonking his head on the lampshade and unstructured he didn't hand out a sheet of rules. Schedule playtime. For your next party, tell your guests that the first hour will be games, e.
Other animals express emotions as they occur. Our emotional regulation stops us from suddenly expressing unexpected emotions. Our cerebral cortex sends emotions it doesn't know how to regulate to our speech area, and we laugh. We associate laughter with humor because humor is always unexpected. But humor isn't one emotion. Humor is any emotion we can't regulate. Because different individuals regulate different emotions well or poorly, different individuals laugh at different events.
A sense of humor attracts women. Laugh in emotional situations, e. Laughing connects your limbic brain and cerebral cortex, enabling better awareness of your emotions. He stuttered, but played guitar, and could sing without stuttering.
Soon he had a job performing with Minnie Pearl, the country comedienne.
Pearl encouraged him to talk on stage. He refused, afraid that the audience would laugh at his speech. Pearl replied: Let 'em laugh.
Goodness gracious, laughs are hard to get and I'm sure that they're laughing with you and not against you, Melvin. Audiences laughed. His career took off. Word began to circulate around Nashville about this young singer from Florida who could write songs and sing, but stuttered like hell when he tried to talk.
The next thing I knew I was being asked to be on every major television show in America. Women share secrets with girlfriends to emotionally connect see Women's Support Circles. But don't whine about your problems. Instead, talk confidently about a secret to show that you've turned a weakness into strength.
7 Things Men Should Know About Vaginas
Entertainment Skills[ edit ] Entertainment expresses emotions. Effective entertainers emotionally connect with their audiences. Entertainment integrates limbic brain emotions with cerebral cortex imagination.
When an entertainer expresses an old emotion in a new way, we applaud. Other animals do the same mating rituals generation after generation. Like peahens, older women enjoy year-old operas.
But young women want only new music, the latest clothes, and the coolest actors. Their greatest put-down is "that's so ten minutes ago. Conversely, to improve your brain integration, develop your entertainment skills.
How Make Love to Woman
Entertaining men attract women. When a man's performance makes a woman feel emotionally connected, her limbic brain tells her that she's in a long-term relationship with him. A woman with an integrated brain responds, "I want a long-term relationship with this man. I'll download his CDs or watch his movies. I'll feel as if I've known him for years.
In a conflicted brain, the older area wins. Entertainment skills can make women ignore a man's faults. Women's Entertainment Skills[ edit ] Male entertainers, in general, have both male and female fans. Female entertainers, until recently, had only female fans, and had fewer fans than male entertainers. Masculine individuals generally, but not always, men use entertainment skills to attract sexual partners. Feminine individuals generally, but not always, women use entertainment skills to keep a partner in a long-term relationship.
Legendary King Shahryar took a new woman to bed each night, and then killed each woman in the morning.
One woman saved herself by telling a story with a cliffhanger ending. Truth and Lying in Art and Entertainment[ edit ] Entertainment skills increase reproductive success so effectively i.
A painter creates an image that looks real, but isn't. A poem makes us visualize a scene we don't see. Novels and movies take us into worlds we've never experienced. But art and entertainment are truthful, from the point of view of the audience. Effective artists and entertainers communicate emotions that "strike a chord" in the listener or viewer. Most societies encourage religious men, e. Men prefer to marry religious women, because they're more likely to be sexually faithful.
After dinner, they played music, danced, or told epics of their heroes. Now consider what happens in modern courtship. We take our dates to restaurants where we pay professional chefs to cook them great food, or to dance clubs where professional musicians excite their auditory systems, or to films where professional actors entertain them with vicarious adventures. The chefs, musicians, and actors do not actually have sex with our dates. They just get paid.
We get the sex if the date goes well. When you say "vagina," you probably mean "vulva. This is the "hole" where the penis or fingers are usually inserted and through which babies pass during birth. Basically, it's everything you're looking at when you're down there.
The vulva includes the vagina, the pubic mound, the labia majora the outer folds of the vulva and labia minora the smaller, inner folds , the opening of the urethra the pee hole and the clitoris more on this very important part later. Purestock via Getty Images 2. Women can get erect, too. Just as a man's penis swells with blood when he's aroused, women -- or, rather, their clitoris -- can become erect, too.
When a woman is turned on, blood flows to her clitoris, the small, round nub just above where the two inner lips meet. This causes the clitoris to swell and become sensitive to the touch. Be careful, though: The head of the clitoris can become overly sensitive and may retract underneath the hood to avoid further stimulation.
The clitoris is a powerhouse for pleasure. With an estimated 8, nerve endings , the clitoris serves one purpose and one purpose only: to make a woman feel good. In fact, it's the only human organ that exists solely for pleasure, according to Dr. And there's more to that beacon of pleasure than the little nub that peeks out. The clitoris has a body and two legs that extend within the body and run alongside the pubic bone. These parts can be "very sensitive," Hutcherson told The Huffington Post.
Just because a woman's vagina isn't lubricated, that doesn't mean she's not aroused. While women are capable of lubricating naturally, Hutcherson says there are circumstances that can make it more difficult.
For example, women may have a harder time lubricating naturally after menstruation. Certain medications and antihistamines also make lubrication more difficult, as do changes in hormones, birth control and age. Some women may even take longer to become aroused and lubricated if they've been in a relationship for a long time.
Most women don't reach an orgasm with vaginal intercourse.
Reminder Successfully Set!
According to Hutcherson, foreplay and external stimulation can be far more important than penetration when it comes to women achieving orgasm. She suggests beginning with gentle strokes to the clitoris and the labia, which can be very sensitive, but is often neglected.
And if you really want to get a woman going, Hutcherson says that oral sex is "the easiest way for most women to experience pleasure.Expectations about dating and finding love When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of often unrealistic expectations—such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill.
These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before last call.
With a sense of fun and a knowing yet accessible voice, Xaviera gives readers specific suggestions on how to spice things up in the bedroom. Such a man could easily bring home enough plants and small animals for two wives and their children.
Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience. Attend local food and wine tasting events or art gallery openings. Sorry, this item is not available in your location.
Effective artists and entertainers communicate emotions that "strike a chord" in the listener or viewer.
What makes having sex with another person better than masturbating is the intimacy, the shared feelings, the romance attached to the moment. Instead, connect to your limbic brain.