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We noticed that for some older students, acting out was a choice, done out of disdain for individual teachers.
We watched kids behave perfectly for one teacher and completely disrupt the classroom for a different teacher the next period. We advocated for schools to focus more on creating responsible citizens who could think and decide for themselves. We believed humiliating people to gain compliance only sprouted more anger and, ultimately, less compliance.
Our vision led to appropriate behavior in the presence and absence of authority. We wanted to meet the needs of every student, and although we knew that goal might not always be possible, we wanted every teacher to understand and have strategies to address the unfulfilled needs that lead to inappropriate behavior.
We watched and continue to watch teachers have the most success with challenging students by listening closely and then listening more. They get to know their students, and they let students get to know them. They relentlessly teach and practice alternative actions students can take when feeling the sadness, anger, frustration, and annoyance that are often at the root of a behavior problem.
They are tougher at not giving up than some students are at pushing them away.
Discipline with Dignity is actually an aspirational vision of what schools ought to be. It is highly structured, yet flexible. We designed our approach to help every educator, regardless of philosophy, strengths, and style. Our goal is to produce more responsible students and an easier, more comfortable life for teachers.
Since the publication of the first edition, we continue to learn new and improved ways to positively influence student behavior in a constantly changing world. We have discovered many things about our vision in the last 30 years. The most important is that relationships between teachers and students matter more than rules and consequences for changing behavior.
Real change occurs more from informal interventions than from a formal process, and in this edition we emphasize what those interventions are and how to use them. We know that every child can succeed and will behave when the emphasis is more on effort than achievement. After all, no student can do more than try to do his best. This edition explores how to do that. In this new anniversary edition, we continue to build on the themes so many educators found helpful by offering new concepts, strategies, and examples with the same original vision: All students matter and deserve to be treated in a respectful way, even when they misbehave.
All teachers deserve a fulfilling career and need an effective structure and strategies when interacting with misbehaving students in order to attain it. Discipline with Dignity provides pathways to those outcomes. It requires a delicate balance between meeting the needs of the group by maintaining social order and meeting the unique needs of each student.
Few choices work for all teachers and all students. We believe the best decisions for managing student behavior are based on a value system that maintains the dignity of each student in all situations. We value responsibility more than obedience. Encouraging responsible behavior requires valuing what students think, seeking their input, and teaching them how to make good decisions.
We know behavior change is slow, and it occurs in small increments. The expectation that students will change longstanding habits on demand is part of the problem. We believe discipline should focus on teaching and learning rather than retribution or punishment.
Students are the consumers of education, and school should prepare them to flourish and be responsible in choosing their own life destiny. Core Beliefs Underlying Discipline with Dignity Discipline is an important part of the job, and every educator must be prepared to accept that reality.
We believe learning and developing these skills is as important as learning content. Good manners and proper social skills continue to stand the test of time. Content changes. How many planets are in our solar system? Is drinking a glass of wine every night good for you?
Answers to these questions continue to change. The value of solving problems without hurting others has been stable for centuries. Although classroom teachers are rarely the primary cause of poor behavior, they must understand that they will not find a lasting solution without owning their role in every successful and unsuccessful situation.
Discipline needs to be viewed as a continuous, daily part of the job. We should not get angry with students for not achieving desired results. Instead, we need to stabilize our feelings about the situation and figure out exactly what to do differently next time. Students always deserve to be treated with dignity. In school, we must let students know that our goal is to always maintain their dignity. Doing so increases trust, builds relationships, and makes problems easier to solve.
Treating students with dignity means we stay calm when things around us get crazy. It means we talk to students as privately as possible. It means that even when they are rude, nasty, defiant, and disruptive, we are empathetic, compassionate, and caring. Treating students with dignity means that students see their leader model the behaviors we want them to exhibit. Picture yourself at the receiving end of a discipline method to assess its impact on dignity.
Can you imagine how it would feel to be scolded by an administrator at a faculty meeting or in front of your class?
School is for all students, not just the good ones. One of us once taught a class of severely behaviorally disturbed students. Frequently, other teachers asked if they could put some of their regular education students in that class. These teachers believed that if certain students were removed, the class would run much more smoothly. They might have been correct. But school is for every student who attends, not just those we want.
The most troubled often need us most. If we choose to think about the situation in a different way, the best students will rarely make us better teachers. Embracing the journey makes the ride easier. Recently, the fully potty-trained 4-year-old son of one of us pooped in his pants.
It is not OK to go in your pants. You have to feel the pressure on your stomach and go right to the bathroom. A split second later, Dad had a strange experience. He felt like he was watching the interaction between himself and his boy rather than being in it. Embrace them being young right now because in a blink they are teenagers. We all make mistakes. I promise. In this small experience, a literally crappy moment was turned into a special interaction that will never be forgotten.
Each of us has the ability to control the attitude we take to each situation and the effort we put into it. Do you embrace the journey of being a teacher, or do you allow every challenging behavior to ruin your day? Mental toughness is a very important component in working with tough students.
It is not always easy, but if we are able to embrace the journey, we can enjoy the ride. Effective discipline often requires courage and creativity. Being effective with difficult students requires a willingness to step outside our comfort zone and respond in unconventional ways. We must be open to approaches that may seem puzzling at first.
For example, if you have done everything you can think of to stop a certain behavior but it continues, think of creative ways to legitimize it.
If abusive language persists, ask the student to publicly define the offensive words to ensure understanding. If chronic disruptions during study hall are a problem in your school, offer a game-filled, nonacademic study hall or one that focuses on teaching social skills or job-interviewing skills in addition to one that is quiet for those who really want to study. When misbehavior is legitimized within boundaries, the fun of acting out often fizzles. If a student escalates negative behavior to get himself removed from class, realize that removal simply reinforces negative behavior.
He wants out. Instead, send him to the office for doing something good. In this way, visiting the office is a positive experience, and the administrator hears something pleasant. Good discipline requires short-term solutions without sacrificing long-term goals. Until a misbehaving student changes because his needs are fulfilled, most strategies will only work in the short term. In the last example, a student might test for a day or two by acting appropriately to see if that gets him what he wants.
If it does, he may continue to respond but rarely for very long. Unless the content is so stimulating that he wants to come to class, more solutions are needed. The goal is identifying the unfulfilled needs causing the behavior and then addressing these regularly through both the curriculum and interactions with the student. Effective discipline has its own DNA.
Good discipline triggers reflection and insight. It is not an action that results solely in pain or pleasure. Chaim Peri, author of Teenagers Educated the Village Way , speaks of meaningful punishment as a process of discussion, negotiation, and agreement DNA. For example, here are two ways to promote an apology. Consider which is more likely to foster empathy and insight: 1. What would you want that person to say or do that might make you feel better?
I would feel upset, sad, and maybe mad, and would want someone to apologize and really mean it. What do you think? Such a discussion makes clear how the behavior is problematic for us, the others involved, or the student. It also affords the student an opportunity to explore other ways of getting his needs met.
In the second example involving Matthew, we ask him to put himself at the receiving end of what he did with the goal of helping him repair the harm he caused. We encourage but do not force the apology because we want him to do the right thing without being coerced. As soon as he takes acceptable action, we privately and passionately show our appreciation for him doing the right thing. This approach lets students see the educator as someone who sets limits with others while allowing limits to be set for him- or herself as well.
Doing so encourages input from and possible negotiation with the student, promoting responsibility. Starting fresh every day keeps optimism intact. Great athletes are often noted for having short memories. The faster a quarterback forgets an interception, the better he plays. Look forward. Leave resentments and grudges at the door.
You will find strategies in Chapter 9 on managing stress that can help you work through whatever troublesome feelings remain. Although we may not always achieve success and improvement, we must believe that they are always possible. Each student deserves a fresh start fueled by enthusiasm, optimism, and persistence. Basic Principles of Discipline with Dignity Let students know what you need, and ask what they need from you. Explain to your class the kind of teacher you are and why.
If you are very strict, explain what happened in your life that made you this way. When I was a child, I was so disorganized that now I am a lunatic in the other direction. Now you know why I care so much about walking in a straight line or raising hands. Many teachers do the telling part. Not as many do the asking. Differentiate instruction based on individual strengths. When a student acts out, the behavior is often a defense against feeling like a failure.
If you are unable or unwilling to adapt your teaching style to different academic levels based on student ability, do not be surprised when students are disruptive. Teacher expectations that are too high often lead to frustration; those that are too low often lead to students being bored and feeling that success is cheap and not worth the effort. When we make learning too easy, students find little value in it and take little pride in their achievements.
Try increasing the challenge without increasing the tedium. Active listening potentially defuses troublesome situations.
Lewis, this lesson is soooo boring. Can you please tell me two things I can do to help make it better? Thanks for waiting until after class to discuss. Teachers are not paid to be comedians, equipped with an arsenal of jokes. But many frustrating situations can be lightened by poking fun at ourselves and avoiding defensiveness.
Make sure students are not the object of any jokes. Frank, a 10th grade student obviously intent on hooking Ms. To encourage long-term change, it is critical to understand why Frank finds it OK to talk to a teacher this way, and to know what it was that may have contributed to his outburst. We explore these concerns in more depth throughout the book.
Vary your style of presentation. Our observations have shown us that most older children have a maximum attention span of 15 minutes and younger children 10 minutes for any one style of presentation. After a minute lecture, it may be a good idea to have a discussion for the next interval. After a large-group discussion, we could switch to small groups. Continually using the same approach creates inattentiveness and restlessness that often lead to disruption.
Offer choices. Teachers and administrators should provide as many opportunities as possible for children to make decisions. You can choose any book from the library to read. Do you need suggestions? If I see that happening today, will it be better if I tap you on the shoulder, whisper in your ear or [ jokingly] pretend to be a waterfall?
The most effective discipline is done with students rather than to them. Use a variety of ways to communicate with students. In addition to the spoken word, caring gestures and nonverbal messages are effective. Some students do better when they get feedback on a sticky note, in an e-mail, or on the phone. It is important to keep in mind that reports of inappropriate relationships between teachers and students are extremely unsettling and dangerous.
Awareness of sexual harassment and abuse is growing day by day. Although touch can be a very effective way to communicate caring, we understand that many educators have become wary of false accusations. Certainly, we need to be respectful of physical boundaries and use common sense. However, a pat on the back, a touch on the shoulder, a handshake, or a high-five can help form bonds with many tough-to-reach children. Recognize that being fair does not always mean treating students equally.
Systems and plans are a necessary part of teaching. On the one hand, by predetermining consequences, we reduce the need for thinking, save time, and can blame the system if the action is ineffective.
On the other hand, if we rely too much on the system, we may fail to do what is best for each individual. A system that narrowly interprets behavior ends up treating all students the same. These systems fail when a more individualized approach is required.
The best systems give teachers and students choices for how to solve problems so the best solution is used. They balance predictability and flexibility. They can be fair but not always equal.
You will find much more on this topic in Chapter 6, where we talk about consequences. I mean, not a mom and a dad the way you would think of it. I live in a foster home, which means I go home every night to paid employees. These people have their own children they take to Disney World.
Nobody takes me. Holidays and breaks are a disaster. I do not go on vacation. Honestly, your English homework is the farthest thing from my mind right now. Jon is not alone, and success for children like him is rare.
According to Christian , educational deficits of foster children are reflected in more retention in grade, lower test scores, and higher rates of absenteeism, tardiness, truancy, and dropping out.
Their poor academic performance affects their lives after foster care, contributing to higher-than-average rates of homelessness, criminality, drug abuse, and unemployment. In the third edition of this book, we identified the most common outside influences on behavior, including such factors as family life, poverty, and diminished social civility.
In the 10 years since that edition was published, these causes are still relevant. However, with the explosion of technology, some new out-of-school causes have developed. In this section we discuss the most prominent causes—both long-standing and more recently noticeable. Dysfunctional Families Some children go home to dysfunctional biological families.
In these homes, many basic values and behaviors are not taught. Words like please, thank you, and share are not spoken, so children do not learn appropriate ways to use them.
In some families, the values necessary for success at school are either untaught or unlived. In such cases, good discipline is about educators taking time to teach skills that parents might typically teach. Good discipline is also about understanding. Imagine two people with bad headaches.
The patient gets glasses and the headache goes away. The second person has a brain tumor and needs immediate surgery.
Both people have the same symptom headaches. By understanding why the headaches exist, each is properly treated. Similarly, by understanding the causes of behavior problems, we are able to work around them. Start by asking the student. I am sorry you got so upset.
Please explain what made you so angry. The problem is anger and frustration. Calling names is the symptom of the problem. Close your eyes and picture the person you are angry at. On the count of three, punch the person in the face with your breath instead of your hands.
When we use our breath, nobody gets hurt and there are no consequences. Children are often exposed to violence and become desensitized to it after a while.
When children see abuse, they often abuse others. When they hear bad language, it becomes the way they talk. Trauma Trauma occurs in many forms, including physical, sexual, or verbal abuse; violence; neurological trauma caused by exposure to toxins such as lead; homelessness; and poor nutrition.
The more adverse experiences children are exposed to, the more difficult it is for them to overcome the effects of the trauma.
Traumatized children often have an underdeveloped frontal cortex—the area where the brain does its high-level decision making—and an overdeveloped fight-or-flight reflex. That combination can make it extremely difficult to stay composed when stressed and on-task in class, leading to higher suspension and dropout rates, which in turn often lead to decreased life expectancy and a greater likelihood of incarceration. Social Media Social media, although beneficial in making information available to all and creating a democracy of knowledge, also contains forums where anonymous shaming of children, increased access to sexual predators, and sexting have proliferated.
A principal we worked with estimates that 80 percent of student-on-student problems begin online. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter are just a few platforms that many students access frequently. With technology changing so quickly, these platforms are likely to be replaced by others within the next few years.
We tell students two specific things about social media. Even if you delete a message, someone might have shared or forwarded it.
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So, while recognizing that social media is not going away and can also be used for good, we advocate that schools require instruction in the appropriate use of social media. Diminished Social Civility When political and civic leaders cannot discuss issues without blaming, calling each other names, and painting their opponents as evil, is it surprising that children see name-calling and put-downs as acceptable methods of communication? Some forms of music and popular culture are also problematic.
When song lyrics including hateful and unacceptable words like nigger, faggot, wetback, kike, and ho are considered OK as long as you belong to a certain ethnic group, the boundaries of civility and decency have been ruptured. Television shows and electronic media are often overly graphic, displaying bloody scenes, inappropriate language, and what some might consider soft pornography.
Comedy is often a series of insults punctuated with foul language, sexual innuendo, and adults looking stupid. Even the news often features a proliferation of uncensored violent acts. These pervasive images negatively affect the way students talk, how they interact socially, and the respect they show teachers, making discipline far more difficult. We do not tolerate stereotyping or racism of any kind. But we believe that political correctness has run amok.
For example, the New York Times reported that students at Oberlin College in Ohio protested the serving of inauthentic Chinese food in the dining hall on grounds that it constituted racism Rogers, Speakers with controversial views have been shouted offstage or disinvited from speaking on college campuses. Not surprisingly, a backlash to political correctness has developed. Children are caught in the crossfire, some overly sensitive and others overly offensive.
A Sense of Entitlement An informal study found that children nag their parents nine times on average before getting what they want.
Some youth sports leagues award players trophies just for showing up. The result of these kinds of behavior is a selfish attitude. Unwittingly, many schools reinforce this sense of entitlement through the proliferation of rewards and bribe systems in which stickers, stars, and points become substitutes for doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do.
Children are taught that what they have is more important than who they are or what they do. With the push of a button, we can communicate with anyone anywhere in the world. We can download hundreds of songs in seconds, be entertained nonstop by devices that start and stop by voice command, and enter a virtual world doing almost anything instantly with amazing graphics.
At the same time, however, we must realize that college is not for everyone. According to salary. These are well-paying jobs that will always be needed. We do a disservice to students when we do not introduce them to the option of pursuing a skilled trade.
Otherwise, feelings of hopelessness, anger, and fear of the future may lead them to disruptive classroom behavior. Lack of a Secure Family Environment Perhaps the greatest influence on children is the quality of their home life.
Society continues to undergo major shifts in values and traditions. Single-parent families, families with two working parents, two-mommy or two-daddy families, and blended families exist in just about every community.
The U. Look for patterns. Christina was often exhausted on Wednesday. Was everything good there last night? What did you do? Did you get along with everyone, including his new girlfriend?
Did you sleep? If not, how about I give you 10 minutes, and then you give me 10 minutes of work? Concentration of Poverty Numerous studies over many years have shown a strong correlation between socioeconomic status SES and success in school. Generally speaking, students from wealthier families do significantly better than those from poorer families. We are not talking about the values of poor parents; in nearly every community across the United States, parents seek the best schools for their children.
Their children, like all children, need and deserve access to the best educational resources. Yet the schools with the best reputations are almost always in upper-middle-class suburban neighborhoods with a preponderance of white children. In too many poorly performing schools, achievement is considered to be uncool or a sign of selling out.
Top students often feel like they need to hide being smart.
The West in the World, Renaissance to Present 4th
To counteract this tendency, try to create a classroom culture where doing well is cool. When this very bright boy was asked if he knew anyone in his neighborhood who was going to college, Victor could not think of a single person. A recent discussion with a friend of one of the authors makes a similar point. The friend, who lives in a small enclave of beautifully maintained homes within an otherwise decaying city, matter-of-factly noted that all the young families move out as soon as their children reach school age because they do not want to send their children to an urban school.
In the last edition of this book, published in , we suggested that radical solutions to this problem may be necessary. Since then, to increase the economic diversity of their student populations, more than 80 school districts reportedly consider socioeconomic status in student assignment, with results showing increased achievement among low-SES students when compared with similar students in less diverse schools Potter, Perhaps the time has come to more broadly use socioeconomic status to define school enrollment.
The reported data do not identify the actual percentage of low-SES students attending these diverse schools. Until such data are available, we would ideally like to see how low-SES students perform in schools where no more that 20 percent of the population qualifies for free-and-reduced lunch.
Although we recognize the logistical and political problems that would likely arise from such an effort, our speculation is that low-SES students in such schools would show considerable academic growth. Reply Nandini Feb 10, 9: Reply Anonymous Feb 16, 7: Reply Medmid Mar 3, 1: Food, Globalization and Sustainability. Reply Anonymous Mar 9, Can someone help?
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