RADiCAL hONESTY. hOW TO No part of this book may be reproduced or .. is any discussion of Gestalt theory or of Radical Honesty. Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth by Brad Blanton. Read online, or download in secure PDF or secure EPUB format. thousands of people do exactly that. This is not a kinder, gentler self-help book. Dr. Blanton. Radical honesty by Brad Blanton; 3 editions; First published in ; Subjects: Self-actualization (Psychology), Psychotherapy, Truthfulness.
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Living With Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton. I learned that the primary cause of most human stress, the primary cause of most conflict. Ebook The first edition of Radical Honesty became a nationwide best seller in because it was not a *E-book zip file includes epub, mobi and pdf formats . A review of Brad Blanton, Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life something like the “radical honesty” Blanton espouses in this book.
It could be a painful reminder of how distant you have become from others and from yourself by hiding your truth. I had serious social obligations only to my parents, and even those, at the time, I took less seriously than the task of forming my own standards through low-stakes confrontation with authority and received ideas. As I got older, I found this more difficult, because of what some call karma: you get entangled with situations and people, and it imprisons you.
It drove me into therapy, as I felt no one in my life had so little a stake in what I did that I could talk to them openly. Some of the things that drove me ever deeper into silence about aspects of my thoughts, my behaviour, and my suffering not special; we all suffer, and it is one of the best bases for universal human solidarity were merely specific entanglements, many of which eventually ended.
But others are more like themes: Some people may ask you for openness without committing to being nonjudgemental: even if they do genuinely want to relate to you honestly, they also want to vet you to see if you are worthy of their association. Establishing that your interests diverge, that you are guilty of some moral failing or that you merely hold some intolerably different values, they may reject you as a friend or lover, leaving you wondering why you exposed yourself and your vulnerability to them.
Sometimes, there is dishonesty in our demand for honesty. Social media and a swing towards authoritarianism have made social situations more judgmental. Perhaps it was ever thus, but people these days can be shockingly moralistic. The twenty-first century has dashed such hopes. Having seen more of the world and encountered places where terrifyingly extreme authoritarianism holds sway, I see that honesty can at times be suicidally dangerous.
But honesty ceases to be therapeutic in a powerful authoritarian regime: one does not choose between slow suicide and release into health, but between slow suicide and quick suicide. That honesty requires an appropriate context—relative safety—explains why Blanton suggests people interested in practicing radical honesty should seek out or form communities.
But Blanton never indicates that practicing honesty is risk-free. In fact, he encourages us to own up to our cowardice in not wanting to share the truth about ourselves when we stand to lose something by it. Many of us are quite happy to tell the truth so long as it risks nothing, Blanton says, and this prevents us from relating to people as living and responsive beings, rather than as our fixed ideas about them, which is to say as a type of inanimate object. Sartre thinks we are responsible to ourselves and all mankind for all our choices, including the choice to act with cowardice: man is condemned to be free.
Condemned, because he did not create himself, yet is nevertheless at liberty, and from the moment that he is thrown into this world he is responsible for everything he does. But whatever our excuse, if we do something blameworthy, we are still really to blame: our coin flip or dice roll, our submission, inaction, reliance on the judgment of others, or lack of effort to rise above our circumstances, was entirely within our control.
Dishonesty is one of the main forms of this evasion, and though it sometimes manifests as outright lying, it appears more often as incomplete disclosure, especially in the name of politeness or care for others.
The cowardice in honesty Paradoxically, though, honesty can also be evasive. My greater interest in concealment, from onward, lay partly in realizing that we might want to confess something we feel guilty about mainly to relieve ourselves of the burden of carrying a secret or being unforgiven.
When we have chosen to do something that we believe would hurt others, especially if it would hurt them only if they knew about it, confessing in this way is also a failure to take responsibility. Asking someone we have hurt to absolve us, or confessing with the expectation we will be forgiven, is itself an act of cowardice.
Even when you love in response to my phony behavior, I cannot really receive your love. It is poisoned by my knowledge that the love is for the image I have created, not for me.
I also have to be continually on guard to be surethat I maintain my image so that your love does not disappear. Since I have shut myself off from your love in this way, I will feel more lonely and unloved, and try even more desperately to manipulate myself and you in order to get this love.
Admit that who you are is not who you have been pretending to be. Praise yourself openly rather than manipulate to suck praise.
Admit what a worm and a liar you are and go through the feelings that come up when you tell the truth about all of this. If you have never truly embarrassed yourself by what you had to say about yourself, you don't know shit from shinola about transformation. Who you are becomes more a description centered in the here and now, and less of a story about your life. Admit your ignorance.
You confess that you developed your act in order not to appear lost and in hopes of finding your way by faking it.
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Then you admit that you are lost and faking it most of the time Before you acted smart; now you acknowledge ignorance like it is gold. This ego-attachment to having heroically survived the unfairness of the world that has to be given up Your hard-earned humility is quickly followed by pride in your humility.
When we reveal more, we have less to hide. When we have less to hide, we are less worried about being found out. When we are less worried about being found out, we can pay better attention to someone else. Who you were before this second is already dead.
When you tell the truth, you are free simply by virtue of describing what is so. Honest people speak simply, using language more to describe than to evaluate. Liars evaluate almost exclusively, only using enough description to make the story believable.
History is full of pitiful, wonderful, dumb-assed heroes who sacrificed their lives to save those they loved from some bullshit threat that seemed real at the time but turned out to be imaginary.
Anger is not a grenade. People resent being withheld from When people don't get good results from the direct expression of anger, the odds are the anger wasn't completely expressed. Probably one or both people were mad, but trying to be decent and fair at the same time.
We must be willing to be angry rather than decent and fair, because angry, rather than decent and fair, is what we presently are. It seems unfair to resent people for things over which they have no control. Our decision not to express our resentment is based on a deeply held belief that our anger has to be justified.For over 20 years, Radical Honesty has helped tens of thousands of people do exactly that.
View all posts by Ben Hourigan. If weight reduction is a side-effect of that increased attention, great. I only partly agree with this.
He shows us how stress comes not from the environment, but from the self-built jail of the mind. This review is about keeping secrets, and whether it is necessary or harmful.
Sometimes, there is dishonesty in our demand for honesty. I had serious social obligations only to my parents, and even those, at the time, I took less seriously than the task of forming my own standards through low-stakes confrontation with authority and received ideas.
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