The Best Things Ever:


  1. Being outside at night when it's the perfect temperature
  2. Waking up to your crush knocking on the door and proceeding to make mad monkey love all afternoon
  3. Being able find the perfect, witty response to everything someone says to you
  4. Being able to come up with comebacks right away
  5. Having a 100% sarcastic conversation with someone who thinks you're serious
  6. Meeting that 1% of the population that you actually get along with and can call your friend
  7. Being able to teleport anywhere you wanted just by willing yourself to
  8. Be able to do anything, I said ANYTHING!
  9. Having a pair of magical pants that always had money in the pockets
  10. The ability to make every woman in a room simultaneously hit orgasm simply by walking in.
  11. Secret passages behind bookshelves
  12. Hair that does whatever you want just by thinking about it
  13. Discover that you can stop time at will
  14. Saying the perfect comeback at the perfect time.
  15. Having crazy mind control abilities
  16. Movies that get better every time you see them.
  17. Having feet. It's pretty awesome.
  18. Finding out that every time you reach into your pocket, you find another $100 bill.
  19. Being able to read minds...AND being awfully good looking.
  20. Finding a lamp with a genie who offers you three wishes, and you CAN wish for more wishes.



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